Climbing the Wrong Ladder

Donald couldn't explain why he was obsessed with getting his project done, except that it would perhaps give him a small sense of accomplishment. The project was always available for anyone to see, and he was convinced that its imperfections reflected badly upon himself as a person. He in effect got his sense of self worth from what he accomplished.

So he toiled for several nights, getting very little sleep. In the back of his mind he knew that his striving was futile, but he plowed ahead nevertheless. Perfectionism had always been a hard habit to break. The fear of failure made him anxious, and it manifested itself into self-destructive, self-mutiliating behavior. He would punish himself for being imperfect.

This intolerance in himself naturally spilled over into his relationships with others. He became intolerant with imperfections in others, too. Perhaps, he thought, if I'm going to suffer, then everyone else will.